It’s a word we all probably know pretty well. Only very recently have I been really understanding its effects. I am a student at a community college here in Charlottesville, working toward a profession in Surgical Technology. (Which is a switch from my previous track in nursing…but that’s another story) I just finished up my semester on the 18th, and honestly didn’t realize how drained I really was. Waking up has been ten times harder, I have felt like my head is in a fog, and just altogether off. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need me time. Something I rarely allow myself to have. Mostly because I work as a nanny 30-40 hours a week, am taking college classes, have a husband, and a home to try to keep up with… it’s HARD. I’m finding that I’m taking care of myself less, and just not caring whether I look put together or not. (If you know me, that isn’t normal. I don’t claim to always use eyeliner, but my outfits are at least usually decent haha!) My husband helps as much as he is able, geez, what a sweet guy! But there are still so many times I feel frazzled. I stress myself out WAY too much (Again, if you know me, I stress myself out way too much…its so bad.) I’m crashing and burning.

Why do I do this?? What’s my problem??

Well, looking back on these past few months, I’ve done so much…but never took a time-out, a break…nothing! Never took time to do the small things I love: naps, Netflix, painting, devotionals, yoga, all these potentially stress-relieving activities, and I didn’t do them?! My excuse for self-stress? “Life is just too busy!” Aren’t I the one doing the scheduling? I have been packing my life so full that I have forgotten how to BREATHE. To just relax and take time do and enjoy the little things that I have been missing so dearly! I’ve forgotten how to just be still.

In today’s culture, the normal speed of life is fast and it’s non-stop. It’s a vicious cycle that we’ve created. One that feels almost impossible to stop, but deep down, we all know we can, we just don’t. It blows my mind that not so long ago, family dinners every night were actually a thing!!! There was built in family time and personal time. We’ve progressively gotten worse at taking personal time and being still. To be still in my mind means that you take a moment, freeze it, and breathe. Trying to let all the stress and anxiety of the day go…and just enjoy the fact that you are even alive and functioning. It sounds crazy, I know, but it works. (At least for me it has!) If you’re anything like me, you’re packing your life full of stuff that really isn’t all that important. Do yourself a favor: Stop. Breathe. Go take a relaxing bath or shower, drink a glass of wine, and put your worn out self to bed early.

I’m going to try to challenge myself by taking 30 minutes each day, to just breathe, and do some of those little things that I love. You should try it too! Or any variation of it! You want to try an hour? Do it! I applaud you!! Whatever you decide, just remember: Everyone needs a little time to themselves now and again, or they will go crazy. Don’t go crazy, go eat some chocolate or something.

I’m going to sleep, peace out guys!

Tori xo

Posted by:Tori Wilson

I’m 24 years old, I’m half Dominican, and I’m from Paterson, New Jersey. I however currently call Charlottesville, Virginia my home! I have a cat named Fiyero, and I am married to my wonderful husband, Davey. I LOVE wine, food, friends and the color periwinkle.

2 replies on “Exhaustion (Self Reflection)

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